Did you know there is a spoof film made in 2007 about ping-pong called Balls of Fury?  As a Catholic movie reviewer, it is one that I have been avoiding simply because of the title.  It is one that I saw in my misspent younger years, but now that I am older and supposedly more mature, I do not seek out such lowbrow antics.  Unfortunately, this is what comedies these days seem to continue to go for, but because this one is currently on Netflix, I thought enough time has transpired for me to revisit it.  Also, I would not have begun this discussion without this context.  Now that I have seen it again after nearly two decades, it is not as heavy on the innuendo as you might expect.  It is still not good, but it has a decent cast?

Actually, young Randy Daytona (Brett DelBuono) is more than decent at ping-pong at the beginning of Balls of Fury.  It is 1988 and the eleven -year-old ping-pong phenom is capturing the world’s attention on his way to the Olympics.  With President Ronald Reagan (archival footage) and First Lady Nancy Reagan (archival footage) looking on, Randy goes against the maniacal East German competitor, Karl Walfschtagg (Thomas Lennon).  It is not Karl’s demeanor that is off putting for Randy, but rather the near absence of Sergeant Pete Daytona (Robert Patrick).  Sergeant Daytona is Randy’s father, and the Marine has placed a large bet on the match.  Randy proceeds to trip on the barrier around the play area, knocking himself out and making Karl the victor by default.  The people with whom Sergeant Daytona placed the bet, namely representatives of Feng’s (Christopher Walken) Triad, take the soldier away and execute him.  Nineteen years pass and the adult Randy (Dan Fogler) is now a sideshow act for an off-strip variety exhibition in Las Vegas.  It is the only employment he seems capable of getting, but this comes to an end when he has an accident with an audience member.  Not long thereafter, he is approached by Agent Ernie Rodriguez (George Lopez) of the Federal Bureau of Investigations (FBI).  The American government is seeking to take down Feng’s operation, and they want Randy’s help.  Now, before you start wondering how any of this makes sense, keep two things in mind: first, this is a comedy; secondly, as it is explained later, there are other more serious cases being built against Feng.  The one thing that Feng has an affinity for outside of lawlessness is ping-pong.  Thus, Agent Rodriguez’s idea is to use Randy to get close to Feng and collect the evidence needed to make the arrest.  After a moment’s hesitation because of the fact that Randy has not competed since 1988, he eventually accepts.  That lack of competition is quickly shown to be problematic.  In order to get Randy back in playing shape, Agent Rodriguez enters the Olympian in a local tournament in the hopes of attracting Feng’s attention.  Yet, Randy loses his first game against the ludicrously named player, “The Hammer” (Patton Oswalt).  Needing to get Randy going quickly, Agent Rodriguez brings the younger man to the blind ping-pong expert, Master Wong (James Hong).  Though it is considered to be a disgrace for the Chinese instructor to teach outside of those of his own culture, he is persuaded when he is told they are going after Feng.  The mafia boss had been Master Wong’s pupil, and had killed the teacher’s brother.  While Randy gains a mentor, he is also attracted to Master Wong’s niece, Maggie Wong (Maggie Q).  She is nobody’s fool, and probably better at ping-pong, but she reluctantly agrees to help.  Because of the effrontery of Randy’s training, eventually he is summoned to play “The Dragon” (La Na Shi).  She turns out to be an eight-year-old girl, but Randy’s victory is enough to get him the invite to Feng’s private tournament.  Following the obtaining of some gadgets they will need to take down Feng (being smuggled in some inappropriate places), it also appears that Randy’s efforts have earned him Maggie’s affection, who kisses Randy for luck as he departs.  Once they get to Feng’s Mexican estate where the competition is being held, Randy and company are horrified to learn that the loser of each match gets a poison dart in the neck.  This only expedites Agent Rodriguez’s efforts at finding what they need.  It also helps that Feng tries to recruit Randy into the criminal organization, giving the athlete a glimpse at how to get into where all the illicit activity takes place.  Relaying the information to Agent Rodriguez, the officer plants trackers in these secret areas.  However, Randy’s next opponent is supposed to be Karl.  Agent Rodriguez injures Randy in an attempt to stop the match, but Feng forces them to play anyway.  However, Agent Rodriguez’s activities are soon revealed, and Randy is forced to play an abducted Maggie.  Before they can get too far, the FBI arrives and things devolve into chaos.  Before they can get too far, Feng manages to recapture Randy’s fellows and they are about to be executed.  What stays Feng’s hand is Randy challenging the mafioso to a game to see who is Master Wong’s best pupil.  With the mansion rigged to explode and shooting breaking out everywhere, their play spills outside in a silly parody of the sport.  The upshot of all this is that Randy eventually triumphs.  Back in the United States, Master Wong is able to open a new ping-pong school, and Maggie and Randy are on hand to lend their support.

It is difficult for me to support seeing Balls of Fury, and not because it is raunchy.  The closest it comes to that kind of material is when, after the first day of the tournament, the competitors are given their choice of “sex slaves.”  I put that in quotation marks because they are all men, and Randy does his best to avoid any impropriety by hanging out with his selection as friends.  As wild as this might sound, this is a Christian reaction to such an inane situation.  Homosexuality is a sin because it involves sexual contact outside the confines of marriage (as well as being Biblically incorrect), but that does not make such people lesser than those of us who practice as God made us.  We are all sinners, and the best way we can treat them or anyone is with compassion.  Though Randy is put off by their advances, he also risks his life to save them.  It is a small part of a larger growth arc for him.  God puts obstacles in our lives as tests, but they are never beyond our capacity to handle them.  Still, they might seem enormous in the moment.  When young Randy loses in the Olympics, he is mocked for mumbling about wanting to go to Disneyland after his expected victory.  It is an ignoble way to fall from the public eye, and it is a wound that he carries with him into adulthood.  It also does not help that his father had been murdered.  When Randy finally meets Master Wong, the aged man correctly identifies the young man’s problem: self-doubt.  This creeps into our picture of ourselves because we tend to allow the enemy to deceive us into believing that we face our trials alone.  That could not be further from the truth.  God is with us through all our turbulent times, ready to pick us back up when we fall.  It may seem cliché to say so, but the fact that it happens at all proves the correctness of that statement.  The more we can lean into this thought, the easier it becomes to navigate challenges.  That divine assistance can also come in the form of friends, which is what helps Randy.  Either way, understand that God is in control.

The control I would recommend would be for you to navigate away from Balls of Fury if you come across it on a streaming service.  Again, it is not as bad as it could be, but neither is it good.  If you want something better, something this one basically rips off, watch Enter the Dragon (1973).