Though I went to a Catholic school until the fourth grade, I was often picked on by my classmates.  Then again, kids will be kids, as they say, and a Faith based education is sadly no guarantor of a bully free matriculation.  Nonetheless, if there was one thing on which we all seemed to agree it was a seemingly universal love for the film Short Circuit (1986).  One of the few non-painful memories I have of those years is one of the boys in my grade quoting the film’s main character, a military grade robot soldier referred to as Number 5 (voiced by Tim Blaney), who says, “Hey, laser lips!  Your momma was a snowblower!”  That sounds bad, but I do not recall it being directed at me, at least not in this instance.  Regardless, it has been roughly four decades since I have laid eyes on this childhood classic, so I felt it was time to revisit it.

The first place that is visited in Short Circuit is a field through which Soviet military equipment is moving.  This is not a Russian invasion, but rather a test of Number 5’s capabilities, along with his four counterparts.  The trucks and tank are remotely operated, and the robots delight their military observers watching the demonstration with the ease of destruction.  Afterwards, they come onto the stage and show their ability to do something either than destroy, preparing a drink for the president of the company who developed them, Dr. Howard Marner (Austin Pendleton).  Dr. Marner does not have long to talk about the project as weather forces the gathering indoors.  As they are settling into a conference room and being served by other automatons, the star attractions are being worked on outside.  Just before they, too, are brought inside, a lightning bolt strikes nearby power lines, sending electricity into the generator to which Number 5 is attached.  The result is what is suggested in the title, and Number 5 stumbles through Nova’s hallways.  While this chaos brews, Dr. Marner is looking for Dr. Newton Crosby (Steve Guttenberg), the scientist who created the prototypes.  Dr. Crosby is not keen on the military industrial complex getting a hold of his technology, and they have to send his colleague, Ben Jabituya (Fisher Stevens), to retrieve the reticent inventor.  It is not long after Dr. Crosby has been coaxed out of his lab that they receive word that Number 5 has escaped.  The rogue robot has a tracking device on it, and Nova’s trigger-happy head of security, Captain Skroeder (G. W. Bailey), takes this opportunity to attempt to eliminate one of these automatons since he despises them.  As for Number 5, a series of misadventures sends him out of range of Nova’s trackers and into the life of the animal loving, food truck owning Stephanie Speck (Ally Sheedy).  Number 5 hitches a ride on top of her vehicle, and after she has dealt with a belligerent boyfriend and gone to bed, she is awakened in the middle of the night by strange noises and sites emanating from her business.  This is how she is introduced to the machine on the lam, and at first she takes him for an alien.  It is only after he keeps repeating a need for input that she accepts that he is not a visitor from another planet.  Regardless, she does the neighborly thing and invites him into her house.  Once there, he rapidly reads all her books and stays up watching television.  Meanwhile, she calls Nova, despite her misgivings about the company, to report Number 5 being at her house.  The word is passed on to Ben and Dr. Crosby, who begin making their way in that direction.  As they are waiting, Stephanie tells Number 5 that Nova is coming, and he freaks out when the concept of being “disassembled” is explained to him.  He equates it with death and wants nothing to do with Nova.  The situation is made worse when Captain Skroeder arrives with a horde of small men that start shooting at Number 5.  Eventually, they get Number 5 onto one of Nova’s trucks, but the robot manages to turn itself on before they return to the factory.  Commandeering the vehicle, Number 5 returns to a surprised Stephanie.  Once Dr. Crosby gets back to headquarters, he is told that Number 5 has gotten away a second time.  Against Dr. Marner’s wishes, Ben and Dr. Crosby again take off in search of Number 5.  They are alerted that their target has gone back to Stephanie, and she has arranged for a meeting with Dr. Crosby.  In addition to wanting to find Number 5, Dr. Crosby is excited to see her because he is developing a crush.  For the moment, her focus is on Number 5 and getting the scientist to believe that the robot is alive.  Before they can get too deep into this conversation, they are interrupted by Captain Skroeder, who has disguised himself to track down the missing machinery.  At the same time, Number 5 takes out three of his former compatriots, reprogramming them to behave like the Three Stooges (archival footage).  It is the first sign for Dr. Crosby that Stephanie is telling the truth.  With her departing, Dr. Crosby and Number 5 are being transported when the robot decides it does not want to be captured.  Taking the scientist with him, they catch up with Stephanie where Dr. Crosby comes to accept Number 5’s sentience.  Unfortunately, they are found for the last time by Captain Skroeder, who also brings reinforcements from the United States military.  Number 5 tries running, but is soon blown up, much to the pain of Dr. Marner’s bottom line.  The incident causes Dr. Crosby to resign.  However, as he is driving away with Stephanie, they are surprised to find Number 5 in the back of their van, the automaton having copied himself.

It is not surprising that Short Circuit is a little corny given that it was made in the 1980s and rated PG.  There is nothing wrong with these factors, but I did not expect to enjoy it as much as I did after all these years.  Of particular noteworthiness is Number 5’s character development.  He goes from a war machine to a peace-loving wise cracker.  To use a Christian phrase, he is reborn.  To be more specific, I was reminded of Micah 4:3, which partially reads, “They shall beat their swords into plowshares, and their spears into pruning hooks.”  These words indicate the process about which I am talking, but one can find specific examples in the Bible and Church History of people doing something similar.  What is important is the transformation, and what we do with it.  I must commend Number 5 for choosing peace, for the most part.  God does not desire us to make war on one another, regardless of any “just war theory.”  Because there are situations in which we believe God is okay with armed conflict does not mean that He likes it.  Ezekiel 33:11, “I swear I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but rather that they turn from their ways and live,” shows how God not only would rather we keep on breathing, but that we also turn aside from those actions that lead to death.  This means choosing life, and here the film offers a wonderful line: “Life is not a malfunction.”  For much of the run time, Dr. Crosby assumes that Number 5’s behavior is the result of a programming glitch.  Because the robot exhibits human traits, and doing so in a way that promotes life, he is indeed more alive than many of us.

One could say that watching Short Circuit represents me attempting to relive a simpler time for me.  I will admit to being prone to fits of nostalgia, which can be detrimental for spiritual growth.  With this movie, though, there is enough here for it to provide a good message to a modern audience, especially in the age of artificial intelligence.