Sometimes, I scroll too long through my various streaming services.  My hope is always to find something good, though this involves the cliché of judging a book (or in this case, a movie), by its cover.  As a Catholic, we are called to make more discerning judgements than looking at a film’s fingernail, or even the short preview or description, in the choices we make.  All this adds up to a long time going through lists hoping to find something not ridiculous.  Actually, more often it is too much time, and I end up making a pick because I get tired of looking at title after title.  This was the scenario when I finally said the heck with it and picked The Great Wall (2016).  Matt Damon and Pedro Pascal fighting monsters in medieval China?  So be it.

Getting tired of scrolling can lead one to The Great Wall (2016), as in medieval China, where William Garin (Matt Damon) and Pero Tovar (Pedro Pascal) discover that the biggest threat is not an invading army but enormous monsters trying to eat everyone. Pero and William are European mercenaries traveling through China with a small band of men in search of black powder, an explosive substance they hope will make them rich back home. Their journey has already been dangerous when they are attacked at night by a strange creature. William manages to kill it, cutting off one of its limbs, but only he and Pero survive. Fleeing their pursuers the next day, the two reach the title location where they are captured by the Nameless Order, a highly organized Chinese military force commanded by General Shao (Zhang Hanyu), Strategist Wang (Andy Lau), and Commander Lin Mae (Jing Tian). The soldiers are particularly interested in the severed limb because it belongs to a Tao Tei, one of a race of ravenous creatures that attacks China every sixty years. The Order has spent generations preparing for their return, and the appearance of William’s trophy means they are coming sooner than expected. Almost immediately, thousands of Tao Tei assault the Wall. William and Pero witness the Order’s elaborate defenses before joining the battle themselves, where their fighting skills help save young soldier Peng Yong (Lu Han) and kill several creatures. Their bravery earns them a measure of respect, though their original interest in black powder remains. They meet Ballard (Willem Dafoe), another European who came searching for the substance twenty-five years earlier and has been prevented from leaving ever since. Ballard proposes that the three steal some and escape during the next attack. William, however, is increasingly impressed by the Order, particularly its emphasis on trust and sacrificing oneself for others, virtues this Catholic can appreciate. During a nighttime attack, two Tao Tei reach the top of the Wall and mortally wound General Shao, who leaves Lin in command. Soon thereafter, an envoy from the capital arrives with an ancient scroll suggesting that magnets can pacify the creatures. Wang suspects that a magnetic stone William carries explains how he was able to kill the Tao Tei that attacked him earlier. They decide to test the theory by capturing one alive, and William postpones his escape to help. The plan succeeds, proving the magnet’s effect, but the Imperial envoy takes the captured creature to the capital to show the Emperor (Karry Wang). The Order soon discovers that the Tao Tei attacks have been a diversion. The creatures have tunneled beneath the Great Wall and are heading toward the capital. While Lin investigates, Pero and Ballard carry out their escape plan with stolen black powder. William tries to stop them, so they knock him unconscious and flee, leaving him to be arrested as an apparent accomplice. Ballard later abandons Pero but is captured by bandits, whose mishandling of the stolen powder causes an explosion that kills them all. Pero is subsequently recaptured by the Order. At the capital, meanwhile, the captive Tao Tei awakens and communicates its location to the queen, drawing the horde toward the city. Realizing what is happening, Lin orders the Order to travel to the capital using dangerous hot-air balloons. She has William released, and Wang tells him he is free to leave and warn the outside world. William instead chooses to remain and fight, boarding the final balloon with Wang and Peng. By the time they reach the capital, the Tao Tei are overwhelming its defenses. Wang devises a desperate plan to kill the queen, whose death should incapacitate the entire horde. They attach explosives to the captured Tao Tei and release it with food so that it will return to its queen. During the effort, Peng sacrifices himself to save the others. William, Lin, and Wang then climb a tower from which they hope to detonate the explosives. Wang is killed helping William and Lin continue upward, leaving the two to finish the mission. William attempts to fire explosive arrows at the queen, but the Tao Tei surrounding her form a protective barrier and deflect them. With their options disappearing, William throws his magnetic stone into the mass of creatures, disrupting them long enough to create an opening. Lin hurls a spear carrying their final explosive through the gap, and William detonates it with an arrow. The blast kills the queen, instantly incapacitating the remaining Tao Tei and saving the capital. Having arrived in China as a mercenary interested only in obtaining black powder, William is offered either a supply of it or the freedom of Pero as his reward. He chooses his friend, much to Pero’s amusement and annoyance. The two ride away from the Great Wall together, while Lin watches them leave.

As Pero and William are riding away at the end of The Great Wall, they are still talking about black powder.  The historian in me kept wondering, throughout all the references to this stuff, why they did not just call it gun powder.  Then I remembered that guns as we know them did not exist during this time period.  That might seem like a nonsensical realization, but the film does provide some historical context.  William, for example, talks of fighting for Harald, which I took to mean any of the rulers of England and/or Norway around 1066.  In the same conversation, William also talks of being employed by the pope.  This is something that caught my Catholic and historical attention.  It is true that there was a time when the Vatican functioned more like any other country of its day, with the pope being a political and spiritual leader.  This was not the case during the century I am guessing this is set in, and I am wondering how many people watching (or reading this) would care about this inaccuracy.  These are not the only references to Christianity in the film, though I mean this in the loosest possible way.  At one point, upon seeing the title location for the first time, Pero cries out “My God!”  It is the kind of light blasphemy many of us say in varying degrees of shock.  Pero’s occasion is a little more warranted as he is encountering something extraordinary, and one can only hope that he is calling upon his Creator for help in this trying moment.  This is doubtful, though, as a few minutes later he muses as to what god could have been responsible for making such creatures like the Tao Tei.  A believer of this day would have been more apt to say that they were satan’s work.

Not getting these kinds of details right is one of many reasons why I would recommend avoiding The Great Wall.  It was bewildering enough to see these actors in such a movie, not because they do not belong in Chinese cinema, but that it was about alien monsters in medieval China.  It is a farfetched premise, and the rest does the plot few favors.