Is there a sadder title than I Don’t Feel at Home in This World Anymore (2017)? As it turns out, they are just words. This Catholic is pleased to report that, despite the tone the title might suggest, the film has a happy ending. Along the way, this dark comedy asks questions that many of us consider throughout our lives: Why am I here? What is my purpose? Why does it feel as though nobody cares about their fellow human beings? It also paints an almost dystopian picture of the world with which our characters must contend. This does not sound hopeful, and there are plenty of bad things that happen from start to finish, but this one might be worth a view.
The unhappy state of humanity is already weighing heavily on Ruth Kimke (Melanie Lynskey) when I Don’t Feel at Home in This World Anymore begins. A nursing assistant, Ruth spends her days tending to patients, including one who dies, while encountering a steady stream of thoughtlessness outside work. Strangers behave rudely, someone lets a dog defecate in her yard, and even ordinary errands seem to offer further evidence that nobody cares about anyone else. Returning home one day, she discovers that someone has broken into her house. Her medication, laptop, and grandmother’s (Robin Blair) silverware are missing, the last of these carrying a sentimental value that money cannot replace. Detective William Bendix (Gary Anthony Williams) takes her report but offers little reassurance, even criticizing her for leaving the door unlocked. Ruth is tired of being told to accept other people’s bad behavior, and the indifference of the police only makes her angrier. When she asks around the neighborhood, she encounters Tony (Elijah Wood), an eccentric neighbor with a passion for martial arts, weapons, heavy metal, and, somehow, God. Unlike the detective, Tony is outraged that someone would rob a neighbor. Ruth subsequently uses a tracking application to locate her stolen laptop, but the police are unwilling to pursue the lead. She and Tony therefore visit the address themselves, where Ruth confronts the man who has the computer and succeeds in recovering it. He insists that he bought it from a secondhand dealer rather than stealing it. Following that clue, the unlikely partners visit a resale shop, where Ruth spots her grandmother’s silverware and recognizes a shoe resembling the print left outside her house. The proprietor refuses to hand over the silverware without payment, and the confrontation turns violent when he injures Ruth’s finger. Tony intervenes, knocking the man unconscious, and the pair escape before they can be detained. Tony has also recorded the license plate of a suspicious van, which leads them to the home of a wealthy man named Chris Rumack (Robert Longstreet). Pretending to be police officers, they are admitted by his wife, Meredith (Christine Woods), who explains that the van is used by Chris’s son, Christian “Chrissy” (Devon Graye). When Chris returns with his bodyguard, Cesar (Jason Manuel Olazabal), Ruth abandons much of the pretense and explains that she simply wants Chrissy to understand the harm he has caused. Chris responds with contempt, mocking her concern for decency and ordering the visitors away. In a petty act of retaliation, Ruth steals a decorative object from the Rumacks’ yard. Tony, disappointed that she has become the sort of person whose behavior she condemns, leaves her to continue alone. Unknown to Ruth, Chrissy and his criminal associates Marshall (David Yow) and Dez (Jane Levy) have been watching the house while planning to rob Chris. Worried that Ruth knows too much, they send Chrissy to question her. He breaks into her home and confronts her, but Ruth fights back, crushing his throat. Christian staggers outside and is struck and killed by a passing bus. Marshall and Dez then seize Ruth and force her to take Chrissy’s place in their planned robbery. They bring her to the Rumack residence, where her earlier visit helps them gain access. Meredith and Cesar are held at gunpoint while the criminals demand that Chris be summoned. The situation rapidly deteriorates into a bloody confrontation as Chris resists, weapons are fired, and the robbers turn on their captives and one another. Tony, having come to Ruth’s aid despite their disagreement, joins the struggle. Cesar and Chris are killed, as is Dez, while Tony suffers a serious wound. Meredith manages to escape, and Ruth helps the injured Tony flee from the house. They make their way into the woods and marshland behind the property, with Marshall pursuing them. Desperate to keep Tony alive, Ruth conceals him beneath foliage and attempts to draw Marshall away. She throws rocks at her pursuer, and his frantic movements lead him into danger when a venomous water moccasin bites him. Ruth escapes but becomes disoriented as she tries to find Tony again. At this frightening moment, she sees an apparition of her deceased grandmother, who appears to guide her toward the place where Tony is hidden. Ruth locates him and gets him to safety. In the aftermath, Detective Bendix questions Meredith, but the woman, grateful that Ruth helped save her life, does not identify her as one of the intruders. Ruth is consequently able to return to her ordinary existence without being implicated in the disastrous robbery. More importantly, the ordeal has changed what that existence means to her. In the film’s final scene, Ruth enjoys a gathering with friends, and Tony is there as well, alive and recovering from his injuries.
The world has not suddenly become a kinder or more orderly place at the end of I Don’t Feel at Home in This World Anymore, but Ruth is no longer entirely alone in it. Having found someone willing to stand beside her when it mattered, she has at least one reason to feel at home again. Catholicism calls us to live in communion with God and one another, and knowing this helps. At the same time, society can make that calling difficult. While watching the movie, I felt a kindred spirit with Ruth at times. Specifically, I thought about my experience watching Us (2019) in the theater. On screen, people were being brutally murdered, but several audience members were laughing despite the blood and gore. Like the title I Don’t Feel at Home in This World Anymore suggests, in that moment years ago, I had rarely felt more disconnected from humanity. Ruth evidently feels something similar, but there is a solution to what ails her. Though I do not think it is meant to be taken entirely seriously, given Tony’s eccentric behavior, he is the one who introduces her to Christianity. He does not go into much detail about his beliefs. Instead, early on, we see him praying before they enter a house to retrieve Ruth’s computer. The moment becomes ridiculous when, after reciting a version of the Our Father, he produces a mace and a throwing star. I am not sure God would be particularly keen on that combination of prayer and weaponry, especially if it is intended to intimidate someone. Still, Tony’s awkward expression of faith points toward something important. Ruth finds her people by the conclusion, and her new life includes going to church. For Catholics, this longing for community is more than a desire to have agreeable companions. We are made in the image and likeness of God, called to love our neighbors even when they make that love difficult, and invited into the communion of the Church. It may seem like an overused response to say that God is the answer to everything, but that does not make it any less true. It does, however, challenge us to be part of the answer by treating others with the dignity we ourselves hope to receive.
Speaking of God, the final few shots of I Don’t Feel at Home in This World Anymore made me think of Ruth finding a new home in church. As a Catholic, I was not sure which particular Christian tradition the filmmakers intended to represent, but the image was meaningful nonetheless. If you want to reach this hopeful message, the movie might be worth wading through some difficult moments.
