I made a poor choice in a film to review, and this will not be a long article.  I watched The Package (2018), and it almost met my threshold for shutting it off based on its material.  It is not pornographic, though there are flashes of that kind of content in two brief moments.  Rather, the reason for the brevity of this treatment is that it has one joke, and it lasts the entire run time.  I am not going to describe it to you because it is too gross and juvenile to mention.  Further, I will not be providing a trailer for this so-called movie, nor will I be posting about it on social media.  There will also be no synopsis.  Hence, why bother talking about it at all?  Partially, it is because I went through the trouble sitting through it.  If what I am about to say has any value, it will be to firmly warn you against ever laying eyes on it.  Indeed, I could stop now, but I will say a little more about it.

Then again, saying anything more about The Package is challenging, especially from a Catholic perspective.  The main characters make the wrong decisions at every opportunity, and this is supposed to be a comedy.  If nothing else, I will allow that these so-called friends are dedicated to helping their injured comrade.  Despite all their errors, having this kind of attitude is a Christian trait.  It is good to go above and beyond for the people for whom you care, and it is even more important in the event of an emergency.  Still, I feel like I am making this sound more intriguing than what it actually is.  Please, do not forget that this film has one joke and all the purported plot points connect to it.  I do not wish to sound too critical because God loves us and wants to redeem all of us, including anyone who thought any of this would be a good idea.  This also includes me when I might sound more condemnatory than I wish to be.  That is not my goal.  My desire, instead, is to gently nudge you in another direction.  Besides, you have already seen films about teenagers and their shenanigans, ones that are remarkably classier than this one.

Honestly, the only thing left to say about The Package is to not see it.